Mind Over Matter

If you follow me on Facebook then you may have seen that I had a bout of illness (like only a day of feeling sorry for myself) after 2 YEARS!

You may be wondering how I have avoided duvet days and snot attacks for so long… Well, that would be one of my biggest manifestations. Although I do get aches and pains – mainly due to my lack of exercise – I never seem to get ill. Which is a far cry from a few years back when I worked in the city, I’d constantly have one virus or another. But one day, I just DECIDED that I was the sort of person that never gets ill. A bit like you may have ‘decided’ that you are a sickly person, or a cold person, or someone who has a slow metabolism…

Belief is a massive part of why I don’t get ill, changing my story is a HUGE part of it.

You know as well as I do that like attracts like. You know all about how positivity can make positive things occur and how a negative outlook on life can draw the very worst things into your life, or send you spiralling into one crappy situation after another.

But there is something else, something much subtler, that is also effecting you everyday. In my post about self-help books I used an example of how conditioning of your environment, your experiences and everything you come into contact with, effects you on a much deeper level then you can imagine.

So all your life you have grown up with a personality that is effected by what others thought of you. For instance, being the youngest of four girls (and the cutest…) I was instantly titled ‘The Spoilt Brat’. The one who got everything she batted her little eyelashes for. I was also ‘The Lazy Bum’, the one who Mum did everything for, the one who couldn’t even put her plate in the dishwasher. I can see their eyes rolling in exasperation even now!

So there you go, Fifi, your personality is dictated for you as spoilt and lazy. And of course a 5 year old starts to live up to the descriptions they are given. I have also been called ‘Skinny’ – funny how I never put on weight! And am forever being bought fluffy pairs of socks because I am a ‘Cold’ person.

But is any of this true?

Whether I have deemed myself it or others have, am I really this person that we all think I am or could I be the girl who always has warm hands and can’t eat a McDonald’s because ‘A moment on the lips is a life time on the hips!’?

I believe not.

And I will tell you why. I am what we call a Mills Girl. This means that I am from a family of women who don’t take shit from men, in fact we keep them on a tight rein, dictate exactly how we want things to be and joke that our partners bollocks are kept in our handbags. We are feisty, fierce, fiery. We are a force to behold!

And that’s before you’ve even gotten on the wrong side of us.

Well, yes, I am loath to say that I did live up to this stereotype for quite a number of years. My poor first boyfriend, he must’ve been utterly terrified! I was a fucking PRINCESS, I got my way every time and didn’t think that this was a bad thing at all.

But, hey, this has been passed down from my Irish-blooded mother! My Mum is adamant that we will never let men walk all over us like her mother did. Women have mouths and brains and can do anything just as well as any man. True, but we can still be nice to them, right?

Anyway, I digress. What I’m trying to say is that I am no longer like this. I am now in a relationship with a man who’s wants, needs and points of views I value. I no longer stamp my feet, I try to see things through his eyes. I no longer put him down, I build him up, I support him. I no longer control every single thing we both do, no I do my own thing, he does his.

I don’t have to be in charge, like I was with previous boyfriends. We’re a team, a totally awesome team! I’ll always stay true to my feminist roots, but I will adapt them to fit with my idea of a harmonious world, thank you very much!

So that means we can change our personality…?


I know you can, it takes time. A lot of tongue biting and mulling things over. But it is doable.

I am no longer a spoilt, lazy brat either, just if you’re wondering. I am a supportive, helpful, compassionate woman (if I can say so myself!)

So all these things that we’ve been told all of our lives, all the things you had taught yourself that you are can be undone. So, if you are cringingly shy, you can learn to be an extrovert. If you a terrible at sport, you can become a medal winning athlete. If you are always living hand to mouth, you can teach yourself to handle money better and maybe even become a millionaire!

Anything is possible, it’s all about the top two inches: your mind, your brain.

And if you are sitting reading this thinking I have got to be talking complete horse shite then take a look at that thought that is coming up in you. Think of the particular thing that will never change about you, ask yourself why? What thoughts or memories come up for you? Are they stories you’ve been told, or are they the truth of who you were when you were a tiny babe?

It’s is a little bit of a mind blowing subject matter. To think you can change who you are and even how your body reacts to things by merely using your mind power! But imagine what you could change about yourself, imagine if you could be the person you had always wanted to be!

What stories have you been told about yourself? Who were you labelled to be as a child and have these labels been carried through to adulthood? Do you think that it’s time to change your story?

Be BRAVE and share your thoughts below, or spread the love by tweeting this out or sharing on Facebook with the social media buttons below. Sharing definitely is caring!

With mind over matter,


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