Weirdos Unite! A Lesson on Authenticity

Let’s talk authenticity.

Being your honest to god, true self isn’t as easy as it sounds. But today, I’m sucking up the fear and coming out of the closet.
You may have noticed that I’ve been away for a while. Well, considering the blog only launched a few months ago it may seem weird that I’m having a change of heart, or skipping out on posts. But that is because I AM weird, I’m my own freaky weird self and I have been too afraid to share that with you.
And because of that my heart hasn’t been in it.

How can you be madly passionate about something that is a constant battle? A battle against your own authenticity.
You can’t.

So I came to a fork in the road.
My choices were to grow a pair (of big, beautiful lady balls) and EMBRACE the fuck outta myself. Or, alternatively, skirt the issue for eternity. Stick to the shadows and never fulfil my sparkly purpose in this lifetime.

I’ve chosen to EMBRACE. And I’d like to start over, reintroduce myself properly and get into my groove.
So, here goes…

The thing is, I believe that entrepreneurialism is a lifestyle, a weighty commitment and a journey. Yep, cliche I know, but if you’re on it, you get what I mean. Right…?
What is life without a few cliches here and there, they make things a little more romantic and we all need more romance in our world, ladies!

The question I pose is: if we’re all on this journey together then how can we make it easier?

You might be right at the beginning of the winding road, hanging of a cliff midway, or possibly sticking your flag in at the peak. But one thing is for sure we all hit the same bumps and potholes along the way.

Authenticity is one of these. You cannot pass further along the road if you are not working in your zone of genius.

The answer to this question is different for everyone and that is why we form tribes, resonate with some and not others. But MY answer is: spirituality.

Faith in something bigger than me really keeps me going, knowing that something or someone has got my back makes it simpler.
I cannot lose or fail, not with the universe conspiring WITH me.

It’s a comfort, some might see it as a comfort blanket but, hey, they’re not my people.

There are so many tools out there that can help us in business, but I’m not talking about the physical tools and products you can utilise, I’m talking about energy, healing, intuition, connection to spirit, chakras, ancient knowledge and manifestation.

I’m talking woo-woo 😉

I’m woo-woo, I believe in reincarnation and that I have an octopus as a spirit animal. I’m a great big weirdo and I know that magic is real. I know that the movement of the planets can effect my day to day life and that when I pull a tarot card it really is teaching me something that I need to know.
These things are my truth, they’re in my thoughts daily.

And I know there are plenty of you out there too that feel like I have for a very long time, stifled, terrified, even in denial.

Synchronicity means you’re here, reading this article.
I needed to write it and you needed to read it, there’s a whole bunch of us who feel like our weirdo tendencies aren’t welcome in the ‘real’ world. But I say, “Fuck that!”
We have every right to be our authentic selves and have a safe space to talk about these things and how they relate to our businesses and lives.

Weirdos unite!

I want to make this whole biz thing easier for you, I implore you to give yourself permission to be yourself. And then we can use this wonderful world of magic to make it a fun filled road trip to satisfaction.

No regrets. Not even on our death beds.

So there will be some changes around here. This is my internet-home and I want to welcome all my crazy internet friends to be inspired and accepted whilst visiting me here. (The kitchen’s over there, help yourself).

The ethos is the same, I still stand for everything I’ve ever said within these pages, but now it’s everything and more. Everything with a large does of authenticity.

Fuck you fear!
Hello Fifi!

Love bombs for all!

Who is your authentic self that you’ve been hiding inside? What are you going to do to embrace her today? Share below and inspire someone today x

Photo Credit: Kurt Clark

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Lotsa love, Fifi xoxo

If Thailand Taught Me Anything it’s That I am Not a Pond

There are many places that we aspire to be in business: at the top, in flow, hanging out with other amazing influential entrepreneurs. We want to be the best, or making the most difference, or learning the most on our journey.

Or maybe we’d like to be in the comfort zone…

Okay, so we don’t quite aspire to be there, but sometimes we find ourselves there and we sorta shrug our heavily laden shoulders and say, ‘No one will notice.. will they? Nah, I’ll just enjoy this nice feeling whilst it lasts’.

Oh, yes.
Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You know where your comfort zone is and sometimes you just want to stay there, clinging onto it like the warmest, softest blanket you’ve ever wrapped yourself up in.

And it feels so good!
So safe, so relaxed, so… samey.

But this post is not about how lovely your business comfort zone is, it’s about how damaging it is and how to get out of it.

Yes, as easy as it is to float along with enough cash in the bank and a string of lacklustre clients, in a few years time you will feel the full weight of wasted time in the comfort zone. The business will dry up, everyone else will be 10 steps ahead and you’ll have to go and get yourself a J-O-B.

Imagine the horror!

No, the comfort zone is no place for a feisty gal like you. You’ve got ambition, guts and bucket loads of brilliant ideas that are just waiting for you to breathe life into them. Think of all those people who need to you to be breaking free of your comfort zone and creating your impact in the world, no matter how large or small.

The idea for this post and also a recognition that I’ve been sitting in my very own comfort zone for about a year, came from my trip to Thailand. As I write this I’m sitting directly under a half-hearted fan, looking out over a street full of coconut and pancake vendors each trying to engage wide eyed tourists in salesy conversation.

‘Hey Boss, where you from? Ah yeah, my cousin lives there…’ Yes, in parallel universe, matey! Pfft!

When I stepped off of the plane into the swarming hub of Bangkok I stepped straight out of my comfort zone. This being my first visit to South East Asia, it soon became a merry-go-round of rip off merchants and bad smells. Where was the beautiful, cultural Thailand I’d seen in the adverts?!

Since then I have found the beautiful cultural Thailand I was looking for, but this certainly took me right out of my comfort zone, far away from the Irish pubs on Khao San road and Spain-like beaches of Koh Samui. Into the deepest mountains surrounding Chiang Mai and across the burning hot sands of Koh Tao.

But with this idealistic Thailand came the realisation that I like my comfort zone very, very much indeed. Would I swap a tropical beach for some day time television? On occasion the answer would have been ‘Yes, Homes Under the Hammer where art thou?!’. In the depths of ‘missing home’ misery I have often wondered what my family were cooking for dinner that night, whilst staring at a rotating mush of unidentifiable meat, or gagging on the smell of Durian fruit which seems to penetrate every market you step foot in.

But do you know what, the majority of the time, being out of my comfort zone has taken me to places I would never have seen, met people that have opened my eyes to the vastness and beauty of our world and forced me to grow.

I’ve eaten the most random of foods, ridden a very angry elephant, slept on a farm with a hole for a toilet and a large bin full of water for a shower, gotten lost in the jungle (seriously, our tour guide just walked off with the group leaving myself and a german girl wandering around completely lost), I have haggled and complained – the most un-British thing you can do – I have spent far too much money on taxis, I have been in the most beautiful temples, I have ridden on sleeper trains and buses, I have complained about the heat and the air-conditioning, I have lost all sense of privacy in dorm rooms, I’ve cuddled baby monkeys and ladyboys (it’s not how it sounds…) And I’ve met people who do all this as if it’s their day job… Really cool people. People that are stretching themselves and growing everyday.

And that is the crux of it all.

If you ain’t growing then you’re stagnating. And who really wants to stagnate, like a green, filmy pond?

No one. Especially not you or I.

I certainly don’t want to end up green and slimy, with the occasional thirsty animal licking at my edges whilst grimacing at the taste. No, I want to be the ever flowing river, cutting my own path through the mountains, calm and controlled in some places and wild and free in others. I want animals and humans alike to quench their thirst on my sweet, fresh water and to frolic and play in my wake. And eventually I’ll join the great ocean, on my next adventure.

Nope, I’m not cut out to be a pond. Not even one with ducks. Cute ducks.

So, Thailand has been an eye opener, a growth spurt and a lot of fun, but mostly it’s been a big ole slap round the face.
Business isn’t about being in a groove, or making yourself look like your really busy or making a ton of cash. No, it’s about stretching, putting yourself in positions that make you want to hurl and poop yourself at the same time.

Nice analogy there… But it’s true. It’s the only way to move forward.

We are always going to be a beginner at something so we might as well embrace the first stages of learning a new skill. You know, the bit where you feel like a nervous, inadequate loser.

If your next goal is to get up on stage and speak to 100 people, whilst trying to convince them that you know what you’re talking about (which you totally do by the way), then it should make you want to hurl and shit yourself at the same.
That means that it’s a good goal, a goal that is going to take you forward in leaps and bounds.

If however the same situation makes you feel, well, indifferent, then you need to be choosing another goal. One that makes your insides scream, or your palms to get sweaty, or your best friend to tell you that your crazy (which you totally are by the way, welcome to the club!)

It’s time to free ourselves from the comfort zone, to ungracefully tear free from that warm blanket, maybe fall off the sofa in the process. You could even tie it around your neck and sport it as a cape, flapping behind you in reminder that you are NOT the pond, you are the fearless, ferocious river! (Wearing a cape…)

Today, cape wearer, I would like you to set goal. If anything that I have said above has struck a chord with you then I implore you to make sure you do this.
Even if it’s the only thing you do today. Yes – I give you explicit permission to loll around on your chaise longue for the rest of the day, vino in hand – it’s what I’ll be doing.

But before that you need to set a goal. Even if you did your ‘be, do, have’ list yesterday, I’ll bet it could be better. Scarier.
There’s one goal in you that you haven’t written down, because you don’t think you can achieve it. You shy away from it, heart doing a thousand cartwheels and legs like jelly. Nope, you don’t like that feeling, you don’t like being uncomfortable. You’d rather just write down: eat and toast whilst reading some more blog articles, for ‘inspiration’. Okay… so that’s what I would write!

No, this goal is better than that, it will propel you right outta your comfort zone into the stratosphere of excellence. It may make you feel sick, it may seem impossible, but you know that nothing is impossible, you’re an entrepreneur for Buddha’s sake!

Do this, now:

Look at your current goal.

Rate it 1-10, 1 being ‘yawn-o’clock’, 10 being ‘OMG – am I really doing this?!’

If it’s below 7 (7 being ‘EEEEK! Bit nervous!’) then you need to up the ante.

Or if you have a goal in your mind that is a 10 then write that down. I know you’ve been putting it off, but putting pen to paper isn’t signing your soul away to the devil.

If you panic at the thought of that goal, I say ‘Bravo!’, but now we’ve got to make it more plausible.

And the best way to do that is…

Baby steps.
Take your baby steps and before you even know it, the goal will be completed. You’ll no longer feel sweaty or nauseous when you think about it. You will be embracing that situation again and again, with ease.

You will finally be the river, forging your pathway to success.

You’ll utter to your adoring fans, ‘Fuck the comfort zone! I’m living on the edge!’

How rock ‘n’ roll can you get!?

For me, I too need to take this advice, stop being a scared little girl and embrace the kick arse entrepreneur that I was born to be. Lets grease up and get things moving ladies!

Out of my comfort zone and no longer the pond,
Love
Fifi
xoxo

Intuition Verses Fear

Today I bring to you a guest post from Sile Walsh, Life Coach, Author and heart-centred entrepreneur.
She’s passionate about authentic, fulfilled living and believes deeply in the possibility that each and every one of us can thrive in life!

Fabulous Sile will be sharing her top tips for differentiating between that icky feeling of fear based decision making and what true intuition feels like.

Take it away, Sile!

As intuitive entrepreneurs we know the value of going within and listening. Hell, we live by it, create by it and are nourished by it! But what happens when we can’t tell the difference between fear & intuition…?

What happens when the fear within us quietens the intuitive wisdom?

I will tell you: you stop taking risks, you stop growing, you stop feeling safe, you stop feeling supported. Basically you stop thriving and switch into survival mode. Then you start feeling stuck, inferior and as if you are not enough.

If you feel like this, don’t worry, you are not alone. This usually happens just before a big breakthrough. When we are fear driven or stuck its because we are about to shift gears and we sense it, we know change is occurring and old wounds are triggered. We want to stay safe and change isn’t always safe… unless that is, it’s intuitively driven.

Fear or Intuition Ultimate Check-list

1) Get to the root
Intuition comes from a very secure place within us, a place of deep wisdom and trust. Fear on the other hand comes from, well, a fearful or scared aspect of ourselves.
Ask yourself, is your intuition feeding a buried fear? If so then it’s fear speaking and not your internal wisdom.

2) Feel into it
Intuition is not fearful, it’s not always logical and it defiantly doesn’t feel restricting. It feels empowering and freeing especially when compared to fear which is heavy, restricting and does not empowering you.

3) Double Check
When you are in the mode of receiving intuitive guidance, listening to your deeper wisdom. Once you have tuned in and received the guidance, take a moment and run it past the traffic light system.
Imagine a traffic light that will react to your decision with either a green, amber or red light. Green means ‘yes’ your decision is probably intuitive driven, red means ‘no’ you decision is probably based on fear, and orange means that you should proceed with caution or investigate further.

Once you have completed the check list you will have a lot more clarity with where you are at. If you are finding you’re in high fear mode use these techniques to shift it from fear to trust.

1) Investigate the fear
Sit with the fear have a conversation with it. Seriously, boil the kettle, make yourself a cuppa and get close to it. Discover what’s driving it and where it comes from. Give it time to be heard and acknowledged it.
Don’t push it away or deny it because it will only have to become bigger to be heard. Now, tell it you are going to support it, but first it needs to trust you and stop trying to lead the way. You are so capable!

2) Build up the trust energy
Look around you and list all the things that are right in your business and life. What you focus on will grow. Focus on HOW RIGHT you have got it all!!! Allow yourself to aknowledge how your amazing inner-wisdom has been so helpful all these years. Bask in that knowing.
Understand things won’t always look how you want them to but they will always be leading you to bigger and better things, especially if you are willing to trust your intuition.

3) Start believing in yourself
Stop giving your power away, stop listening to others on how to be you, run your business and show up in the world the way that is right for you. Take advice but ultimately check it against your intuition, because we create our realities. What kind are you creating?

I hope these tips and tricks help you as much as they have helped me!

As a little side note and funny insider story, I’ll tell you about my first intuitive experience. I was 8 when I had this entrepreneurial vision, I decided to set up a car wash in my little housing estate. I had 2 employees, my 2 little brothers.
Of course I was told I was too young and didn’t have the ability to make enough pocket money for both myself and my brothers. But my intuition said differently!!! So I picked up a sponge, borrowed a bucket and detergent from the kitchen and set out with my two little brothers in tow. We had a go cart to carry the equipment, which I thought would make us seem older!
We only made 1 car dirtier than when we had started cleaning it and by the end we were cleaning about 4 cars a weekend at £5 a car. Do you know how many sweets that is?!
(If this all sounds dangerous to you, I just want to let you know that my mum and dad kept an eye on us secretly!)

Moral of the story is, pick intuition over fear EVERY time, you can’t afford not too!

I couldn’t agree more Sile!
If you enjoyed this article you can find out more about what Sile does over on her website www.silewalsh.com

Why You’ll Never Feel What They Feel

Sometimes I feel as if I am not on track. Like I haven’t quite experienced the depth of feelings that others have. I try to convince myself that this will come with time, that the big emotions will engulf me when I have had more experience of life.

I realised this as a teenager and I decided to wait patiently…

And the feelings of crazy, stupid love picked me up and slammed me against reality. God, I’d never experienced anything like it, but it wasn’t like I had been told. It wasn’t perfect.

Yes, I experienced doing ridiculous things for the man I loved. Staying up until dawn, talking and talking, even though we had work the next day. Ignoring all of the bad stuff that came with being in this relationship and just general smitten-hood (which drove my friends insane).

Then love grew and changed and evolved into something much more… ‘Long-distance’. The sprint was over and the marathon had begun. (We’re still running it by the way 🙂

But there were still other feelings I hadn’t experienced. I wondered what true despair was and whether or not there was such thing as feeling ‘god-force’. I thought often about what love truly was, whether there was such thing as soul-mates and if tears of joy would ever visit me.

Between then and now I have experienced many more emotions. Depression, anxiety, deeper love, tears of joy, tears of anger, rage, bliss… But there are still many more that I wonder about. And there are also feelings that I am still aiming for, accomplishment, for one. And I don’t even care if that comes from a place of ego, it is something I want to experience and that is fine.

There are feelings that I’m sure you strive for too. Especially as a business woman. Because for some of us, we understand that it’s not about the achievements, the money, the fame, the respect or the titles. It’s not about the pride of where we’ve come from, where we are and where we are going.

No, it’s about the feeling that we get when we think about it and when we achieve it. It’s the feeling that we get when we’ve got these things. Luxurious, respected, confident: with these feelings you know that you can do more in the world, make more of a difference and make the right decisions for your future.

We are all aiming for a feeling. {Tweet this!}

If you’ve ever heard of Danielle Laporte you will be aware of this idea. It’s not a new one, but it’s a big one. And you might have been trying it out for size, aiming for the feeling rather than the thing, the goal, the achievement.

But I have another something to throw into the equation.

Are your feelings being steered by others?

Are you aiming for a feeling depicted by actors, artists, writers and musicians?

Because I have realised that this may not be the EXACT feelings that we feel when we achieve or experience these things. When you get to the destination, you might not feel how you’re ‘meant’ to feel.

I’ll give you an example: I had a session with a life coach not long ago. We hit upon some really poignant stuff. I started to realise that I was on a high from this conversation. All of the pieces of the puzzle were staring to slot into place and I was realising some big things that I needed to move away from or look at in a different light.

Accompanied by these milestone moments was a feeling, of course.

But it wasn’t the feeling I was expecting. Instead of a mix of awe, joy, motivation and determination, I felt… goofy.

That’s at least how I would describe the giddy laughter that burst forth from me. As I went to re-enact my cycle of ‘sorrying’ for this emotion, the life coach smiled and said: “Now that’s the feeling you were looking for.”

I realised that I shouldn’t be apologising for my massive grin and high-pitched voice, I should be REVELLING in it. THIS was my joy, THIS was my awe, THIS was my inspiration. And I’d been calling it embarrassment for so long, that I had forgotten that it was totally okay for me to express myself in this way.

I started to think of all the times that I had felt this feeling. Always when I was having pure fun, when I was on to something REALLY good, or in the midst of a light bulb moment. I’m having it right now as I write these words!

But I had convinced myself that this was not the way I should be experiencing joy, or awe. I had convinced myself that this reaction was wrong, I should be tearing up, I should be speechless, I should be standing on the top of a mountain with an eagle perched on my shoulder and the wind whipping my hair across my face….

Not likely. I have cropped hair… And live miles away from the nearest mountain.

But the point I’m actually making here, is that we have been conditioned to think a certain way about emotions. That they should be expressed in the way that we have read about, or seen from other people. And this is just a load of bullshit.

We should experience feelings in the way that we see fit, in the way that comes naturally, in the way that is US. {Tweet this!}

And not EVER be ashamed of that experience.

So all those feelings of wonderment, awe, flow, god-force, joy. For me, they all boil down to ‘goofing’. Giddy joy. And no one’s going to put THAT in a film. Haha!

You can feel however you want about things. If awe to you is dizzying, or tears of joy, or a bubbling forth of laughter that is FINE. It doesn’t have to be opened mouthed, glorified, wonderment. It can be totally utterly human, your unique spin on things.

And that goes for any other emotion. Love, anger, flow, certainty, inspiration, sadness. We can have them in any way we want. We are all experiencing this world from different places and in different ways. Striving for feelings is fine, but be aware that your feelings might not come about in the ways that the best writers, or actors, or artists envision it.

They will come in your own way. And when they do, fucking embrace them! Don’t shrug them off or label them as something negative. Because that won’t help you in your task to find the other feelings, in fact, you’ll be ignoring them. Which is no good at all.

Share below what your favourite feeling is. I’m interested to know how you experience that feeling and whether you embrace that as the ‘right’ way or not.

Still giddy and goofing,

Love Fifi

xoxo

Photo Credit || Kristy Hom

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Lotsa love, Fifi xoxo

Business Babe: Ruth Ridgeway

Welcome to my first ever Business Babe Interview! I’m really pleased to be starting this monthly post featuring amazing business women who will set your heart alight with inspiration. And the very first babe to step into the lime light is the lovely Ruth Ridgeway.

BIO:

Ruth is a super adventurous entrepreneur with a talent for owning her uniqueness. Photographer,  website whizz and lifestyle designing extraordinaire: this girls got guts!
She knows what she wants and how she’s gonna get it, and now she’s willing to share those secrets with you!
You can find her at: www.facebook.com/RuthRidgewayCreative/

 

Hey Ruth, I’m so pleased to have you grace the pages of fifiscarlett.com. I’d love to ask you, firstly, how you find so much time to fit everything into your life?!

Thanks so much for having me, great question!

Well firstly I have to point out I have exactly the same amount of hours in my day as everyone else, I’m just super selective how I spend them!  I decided things like the time spent sitting around moaning about what’s not going right, the hours spent mindlessly in front of the TV and a Facebook addiction weren’t getting me very far.  So, they’ve either been ditched completely (I have no time for sitting around moaning!) or the time I spent on them was drastically reduced.  I was left with the same amount of hours in my day, just a whole lot more to spend on cool fun stuff, and really launching my businesses.

I’m excited about your new project, as having a lifestyle that works for each individual is something I really champion.  Tell us some more about the Lifestyle Designers Club.

The Lifestyle Designers Club is all about living your ULTIMATE lifestyle.  It’s not a one size fits all, and I help women decide exactly what they want from life, ditch the crap that’s holding them back an provide simple, no fluff, actionable steps to start achieving their dream lifestyle.

How did your business progress over the years?

My entrepreneurial background has had its fair share or twists and turns!  From a really young age, 10 or 11, I remember watching a TV program where a woman bought houses, renovated them and sold them for a profit.  She used the profits to buy a bigger house and kept repeating the same steps.  I remember thinking “one day I’m going to do that”, and so I did.  Fast forward to age 20 and I bought my first home.  With no experience whatsoever I set about learning everything I needed to renovate the homes I lived in to progress up the property ladder.  Yup, from fitting kitchens to tiling bathrooms, I learnt it!

Roll on a few years being tied to a 9-5 to pay the mortgage, I remember thinking this wasn’t fun, it wasn’t me.  I hated being told what to do, when to do it, when to holiday, what I was going to be paid month after month. I wanted freedom, I wanted my income to only be limited by my imagination and efforts. So with a love for photography I started my own photography business.

Again, I certainly didn’t know everything I need however I started. Firstly kids, then women’s makeover photo shoots and lastly to creative photography for women in business.  I kept refining and tailoring to what I loved photographing the most.  It was during this time whilst I was meeting various women running their own businesses that I made a big discovery. Whilst they all had amazing talents and big exciting goals, most were finding it challenging HOW to achieve them.  They were ploughing through working numerous hours a day, either scrambling for clients or bogged down in too much work that the lifestyle they’d dreamed about when they first started their own business wasn’t emerging.

It was right then and there I decided things needed to change, and I created The Lifestyle Designers Club. It just felt ‘right’, right to pass my knowledge and experience of something that comes naturally to me on to others so they could lead the life of their dreams too.

What has been your greatest obstacle to overcome in building and running a successful business?

Believing in yourself and listening to your own intuition.  When I made the decision to listen to my instincts and live life on my terms, everything started falling into place, both in my personal life and business.  When you go against the grain and do something different, like starting your own business, everyone seems to have an opinion – especially when you’re starting out and still finding your feet.  Sometimes those opinions come from a caring place, sometimes from a place of jealousy, so be careful which advice (and from who) you listen to.

You’ll hear it all from “your prices are too cheap, you’ll never make a successful business that way” to “wow, that’s really expensive, are you sure anyone will want to buy it for that price?”  You’ll hear a million different ways on the ‘right’ way to market your business, doubts from critiques, ‘advice’ from people who have no understanding about your business or area of expertise, recommendations on what you ‘should’ be offering… It’s never ending.

(Editors note || Read more on this topic here: The Vice of Advice)

Have the confidence in your product or service, bring value to others, research your market and understand what sets you apart from others in your field then go out there and show your customers exactly how you’re going to help them!  If you come from a place of truly wanting to help your customers, bring awesome value into their lives with amazing service, they’ll buy from you; plus you’ll also start to build a loyal following.

What’s your top tip for kick-arse goal achievement?

Really kicking-arse and achieving your goals is broken down into two for me.  The first, most important, non negotiable thing is to be laser focused on exactly what you want to achieve.  Goals LOVE you to be specific, the more specific you are the more the universe starts aligning in your favour.

For example, if you want to travel more your goal wouldn’t be ‘I want to travel’, it would be something like ‘On 31st January 2014 I’m travelling to New Zealand for 3 weeks’.  That specific, with a set timescale and turning it from a ‘want’ to an ‘I’m doing’.

The second most important thing is then breaking that goal down into bite sized chunks, and clearly organising your time, focus and effort towards that goal.

Can you share with us a time or experience that made you really proud and certain of your choice to be an entrepreneur?

Being an entrepreneur wasn’t a choice for me, it just ‘was’. The idea of being stuck in a 9-5 until I’m 65 scares the crap outta me! Along with the freedom lifestyle it brings, the proudest most awesome thing it brings is the ability to help others. As cheesy as it sounds, it’s a total feel good factor knowing you’ve really helped someone overcome a massive block, progress in their business or achieve a big goal they’ve not been able to achieve despite hours of trying and frustration! Being an entrepreneur and allowing myself to follow my own passion of helping women live life to their full potential has been the most rewarding experience by far.

What is the one piece of guidance or encouragement that you like to share with our fellow business babes?

Surround yourself with supportive, like-minded people! I didn’t have this when I started, but my confidence, wellbeing and business soared when I surrounded myself with people with the same aims and desires in life. One of the first things I knew I wanted to start when creating The Lifestyle Designers Club was a positive, supportive community you could not only reach out to, but also give back and provide that same support and encouragement to others. I created a private Facebook group dedicated to do just that, The Lifestyle Designers Hangout. And yes, it’s totally free!

I want in! How can we sign up and get lifestyle designing?!

Awesome! I’d love to have you in the Club. You’ll find me at The Lifestyle Designers Club, (launching July 1st) where you’ll find loads of free resources and actionable tips you can do straight away to start living your most awesome life. I can’t wait to see you there 🙂

 

A massive thank you to Ruth for sharing her story and expertise with us, it’s definitely got me thinking about goal setting and taking hold of my future! I recommend you check out Ruth’s Facebook page, it’s full of pictures of her crazy antics and adventures.

Completely inspired,

Love Fifi

xoxo

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Lotsa love, Fifi xoxo

I Want What She’s Got

Comparison: the business woman’s nemesis! Or is it?

I’m sure that at some point in your life you have been completely consumed by the green eyed monster within you. Oh yes, I’ve certainly been there.

And stepping into the world of business makes for no exception.

Business envy is up there with a lovers jealous rage. It might even be worse because you know you shouldn’t feel angry and envious of someone’s happiness and success. You know you should be happy for them, glad that they are doing well…

But, somehow, you can’t.

And that is cool. You’re human after all.

A massive part of your life experience here on Earth is to feel all of the emotions. The good, the bad and the down right ugly! {Tweet this!}

So today I want to chat a bit about how to embrace your envy and to move through it, past it, to a more harmonious space.

The first thing you’ve got to accept is that you will never have what she’s got. And thank GOD that you won’t, because if you did end up as a clone of her then you would feel super unfulfilled. Who wants to be a second rate version of somebody else?

Not you lady!

You want to be the best version of you, that you can possibly be (and that is unlimitedly amazing!)

Maybe you like the idea of her lifestyle, or the holidays that she goes on, or how polite her children are. You can have all of that, but do it in your way. Everyone has different tastes, different ways of achieving and different skills to offer the world. You need to lean towards yours, not hers.

The second thing you HAVE to remember is that you’re only seeing the highlights reel. If you follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram you are only seeing what she wants you to see. Behind the scenes everything may be falling apart, she could be crying herself to sleep at night or have big money issues. She’s not going to let on to her followers.

Even if her life really is that perfect, remember that she still shits.

Honestly, you are not going to live up to the highlights reel, accept that life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies and that we all have obstacles to contend with and difficulties in our lives. Once you start to realise that she is just as vulnerable as you are, you can let it all go and just live your life without that constant comparison.

And lastly, but definitely not least(ly). Every time you feel that feeling you can make something of it.

Oh, I love a good re-frame!

When that gut-gnawing, heart-haunting feeling emerges you know you’re onto a winner. Every time you feel any negative emotion you are in a position to expand, to understand yourself on a deeper level and to move into a higher level of awareness regarding yourself.

So the next time you feel jealous start to think about why. Question the feeling, welcoming it and ask what you need to learn from it.

Maybe it’s just the universes way of saying: ‘Hey, you can have this too!’

Or maybe it’s a recurring theme in your life that you need to debunk once and for all, untangle and release yourself from it’s claws.

Get your journal and write, write, write. Don’t think too much, just let it pour onto the page. Then re-read, then think, then know.

And finally, thank your green eyed monster for showing you what that was all about.

This feeling may come back again and again, the more you expand, the more your business grows, the more amazing women you will come across. Use them to leverage your your own growth, to make yourself aware that you can still be bigger and better, that your journey is not over.

Never let yourself believe that you are a bad person for getting jealous or comparing yourself. It’s only normal, we all want to be the best right?!

I just want you to know just how important you are, without you the face of the world would be such a different one. Without your existence so many lives would be differed and with your gift so many people would still be looking for answers. You may not know how many people’s lives you affect, but affect them you do.

Shine your light, be that positive change for people. Use your brilliance to reflect that light back to others so they know that they are also special. Be yourself, grow, learn and laugh and know that you are doing good in the world.

Compare yourself as much as you like, get jealous often and make sure you learn something from it! {Tweet this!}

What are your top tips for moving through and past jealously? Please share in the comments below.

Green-eyed with how great you are!

Love Fifi

xoxo

Photo Credit || Shelia Tostes

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The Vice of Advice

We all need good advice every now and then.

Sometimes when the weight of the world is just getting a little too much, a dose of no nonsense advice, alongside a cup of tea, can be just what it takes to get you back on your feet.

But recently I’ve felt slightly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of advice that I am bombarded with each day.

Do you feel the same?

Every time, I turn my computer on, or mention to someone that I run a business, I get inundated with an opinion or a suggestion. And sometimes I feel like I could do with everyone just backing off!

Now, I’m not being a grumpy old so-and-so, these days I’m fine with it, I can see it for what it is.

It’s advice. You can either take it or leave it. {Tweet this!}

But I remember when I first went into business, I was fearful and cautious. I SO wanted it to work, and I’d listen to anybody with half a business credential. And there were plenty of people to listen to!

And the more I listened, the more confused I got. Advice sent me whirling into a panic over practically any business decision I had to make. Level-headed-lady-boss: I was not!

It was actually a pretty hard time, I was either really down about my lack of knowledge or highly strung over things that in hindsight really weren’t that big of a deal.

Now some people are naturally very good at cutting through all the crap and getting to the source of the issue, they just go ahead and do it. They don’t give a fig about blue prints, business plans or doing the correct things in the correct order. Hell no! They set up a Facebook page and start offering their service or product without worrying that they don’t have a website or a business email.

But for the rest of us, that FREAKS us out!

Some might like structure, a step by step plan to doing it the ‘right’ way. And others might lack the confidence to go ahead and do the actually ‘business’ bit (getting clients and customers) without having a professional looking web presence.

I was certainly a mixture of both of the above.

But the people who forged ahead, avoided perfectionism and worried about tidying up afterwards are the ones that fast tracked to success.

The rest of us are going to get there too but it’ll take far longer.

And their secret… They don’t take advice!

If they took advice then they would know that a Facebook fan page is no substitute for a website. They’d know that clients won’t buy from you unless they have read at least X amount of blog posts from you. They’d know that engaging in a service without a contract is sure to have them ending up in a terrible legal battle….

I’m gonna call it: Bullshit!

All of the above is a steaming pile of crap.

Just because someone else has done it that way and it’s worked doesn’t necessarily mean it will work for you, and vice versa with ploughing ahead and just getting on with it.

The point I’m making is that any advice could be the wrong advice, and it could also be the right advice. It’s up to you to decide. But we cannot read every single pamphlet, bog post and book and believe that you must follow it in order to do well.

If you did that you’d be in utter business chaos, with contradictions every which way.

So let’s have a look at how to distinguish between advice that you (personally) should follow and advice that you should avoid.

It’s really important to remember that everyone in this world is looking in from their very own unique perspective. And the topic of advice really highlights this. You’re experiencing this world in your body, with your mind and in your own way. So you are in the drivers seat.

1) Your initial reaction should count for something.

When you come across advice you may feel a pull that says: ‘Yeah! That totally makes sense!’

Or you could feel: ‘Hmmm, well if you say so…’

You can now decide based on your initial reaction which advice is right for you.

Once you start to follow your gut, you’ll learn to trust it more and more.

2) FOMO

But you say: ‘What if it’s only out there for a limited time only? I can’t miss out on this!’

Back it up lady!

If this thought ever crosses your mind when deciding whether to PAY for or take advice then you need to let it go. You are coming from a place of fear in the decision, which will only make it harder to decide. Step away from the Fear Of Missing Out.

I’ve done this, I paid a few hundred pounds for a business course because of the fear that if I didn’t do it, I’d be stuck forever! And guess what, it did nothing for me or my business, nada!

3) Good vibrations?

Another huge factor is whether you ‘vibe’ with the person giving the advice. Do you find them pushy? Or relaxing? Are the ‘your sorta person’? Or do you not really get where they are coming from?

Most of my best advice comes from women, I just seem to vibe with the feminine energy. I also lean towards women who are relaxed and act as themselves, warts and all. I like the transparency. However, I don’t really enjoy taking advice from men, purely because it never feels right when I actually do. And that’s fine.

If you don’t vibe with the person giving the advice, you probably need to go elsewhere for it.

So now you know how to decided to take on some advice you’ll be made for your entire business career, yay! Or, maybe not?

What happens when the advice you are trying isn’t actually working at all, you get yourself worked up: ‘Am I doing it wrong? Why have I not seen the changes that others have? How is this not working for me?!’

Going through those negative and stressful emotions is natural, whether it be a weight loss programme, a business strategy or parenting advice, sometimes it just won’t work for you.

And as annoying as that is, it really is a great learning curve. This is the world telling you that you need to figure out another way to approach this problem. Maybe you could even turn that into your own programme one day and benefit from it?!

But the main reason for this is to show you how resourceful you are.

In my Business Intuition Training I teach you how to tap into your intuition to make big business decisions. It links back up to the above points of feeling within you whether a) your body reacted positively towards the advice, b) to understand the emotions you are feeling when you come across a decision, and c) if you truly vibrate on the same frequency as the person who is giving the advice.

These are all intuitive decisions and you can learn more about how to tap into that with the training. And once you do, you’ll start to see your true decision making power. You’ll never need to turn to anyone else for business advice, you’ll start to understand that it is all within you!

Awesomefest!

That’s not to say that you will block out all advice, but if you did ignore all advice for a week how do you think you would feel?

Free, fearful, focussed? Share in the comments below.

Much love,

Fifi

xoxo

Photo Credit || Anurag Agnihotri

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5 Steps To Overcome A “No”

Ever heard that word? That heart-aching, dream-crushing, wail-inducing word? {Tweet this!}

Ever been told “No”?

You’re not alone. Sometimes it is short and sharp. Sometimes kind and cringey. Sometimes it comes with a chuckle and shake of the head. Sometimes with a small apology. And sometimes with an incredulous wrinkle of the nose.

But it always feels the same, it always comes with that heart-sinking disappointment. Oh, how easy it is for one person to burst your bubble of positivity. With that tiny, little word. And then comes befuddlement, confusion: “Really? They said no?!”

Or you get all encompassing rage and anger: “How dare they turn me down?!”

Maybe you’re the sort of person that takes it on the chin: “Well, maybe next time…”

However you react, that negative word can really knock you for six if you haven’t prepared yourself for it. And this post isn’t about how to prepare yourself for it because you should never not try for fear of receiving a “no”.

I want to try and convince you that “no” is a good thing. Not for them, but for you. I want you to look at that “no” from a different perspective.

1) Firstly you need to take your emotions out of the equation for one small second. Look at the situation from an outsiders point of view, pretend for one moment that the “no” you have received means nothing to you. It doesn’t effect your business, it doesn’t effect your personal life and it doesn’t effect your emotional, spiritual or financial development.

2) Ask yourself: “How bad is the situation?” Will this send you plummeting into bankruptcy? Will it end you marriage? Will it assign you to an impending doom? Bear in mind, even after these awful life moments you can still pick yourself up and pull your life back together.

3) Now you know how bad the damage is think about how you can fix it. Write down at least 2 things that you can do to get past this problem. Now do them. Do those 2 things, however simple they are. Whether it be sending a few emails, calling on a friend for help or re-writing the entire business plan, you’ll start to feel more positive about the situation when you realise that there is a way around this obstacle.

4) Remember, this problem has been put here to test you. But don’t get annoyed and riled by this, just prove the world wrong! You will never develop or expand as a human being, spiritual entity or business babe if you don’t come up against things that will push you to your limits.

5) Quit resenting. Accept the “no”, give it a full on bear hug. After all, that “no” has probably done you a favour by sending you on a different path to bigger and better things. Once you stop boiling at the thought of the moment you were told “no” you’ll realise just how lucky you were to get that response.

From me to you, I’d like to say: congratulations on your “no”! It is proof that you are reaching new heights and creating new boundaries in that aspect of your life. Keep it up!

If you’ve had a “no” in your lifetime that has (in retrospect) done you a massive favour please share all in the comments or tweet me. How did it help you in the long run?

Here’s to “no”!

Fifi x

Four Mindsets That Will Hold You Back From Success

What’s holding you back from creating your dream life? Running your dream business? Having your dream house?

What is it about you that means you cannot be successful? {Tweet this!}

From my childhood, I wished to work as a good maker. Then I started to build the first wooden utensils. I was looking to buy the best tools like Best woodworking books, Best wood chisels

About a year ago, I continuously asked myself these questions. I would look in the mirror and feel baffled about my situation and doomed to lead a mediocre life. And now I run my own business that is expanding at a rate of knots, instead of a work-life balance I have complete cohesion between the two. I have thrown caution to the wind and given up on saving for a mortgage and am looking forward to renting a beautiful space and enjoying my life NOW.

I’m not bragging, no, no no! I’ve got a looooong way to go! There are still things that aren’t perfect, there are still places I want to go and things I want to achieve. But then life would be pretty unsatisfactory if I was sat on a yacht, in the balmy Mediterranean weather, sipping a glass of champagne without any goals or dreams for my future. Well, sorta unsatisfactory!

So I regularly think about what it was that was holding me back a year ago and what is currently holding me back from reaching my biggest aspirations. And I thought I’d share with you today what it was that created my obstacles and how you can overcome them much quicker than I did.

Here were the excuses I used to hold myself back:

1) I’m too young.

Yes, seems ridiculous for some people but a year ago I was 21 and there were so many women and men that I looked up to that were a lot older than me. I had this image of a successful businesswoman in my head, the businesswoman that I wanted to be and that image was nowhere near my age.

I seriously thought that I wouldn’t be able to be a success, to be taken seriously or to have any of the things I wanted until I was in my 30s. That meant 9 years of hard graft and working for a pittance ahead of me. Hmmm, that didn’t sound like much fun. I once had a colleague of a similar age say to me: “I know they all spent years making tea and taking out the bins but LOOK at the handbags they own now! I’d do a few years for even one Hermes!”

But why should we?! What is it in our society that says you have to, where did this “career ladder” come from? It’s not a bloody ladder, it’s an excuse to treat interns and apprentices like shit. Fact. And if that’s not bad enough, brainwash them into thinking that it’s okay because they’ll be treated to bigger and better wages if they do as they’re told.

Well, I wasn’t having any of it. We talk all day long about equality and that is what I wanted. I wanted to be able to do whatever I wanted at whatever age I wanted to. No matter if I’m 15 or 85. And just so you know, the experience isn’t the be all and end all – making tea isn’t experiencing how to make a TV program!

So stop using I’m too young/inexperienced as an excuse. Find a way around it like I did, stick on a pair of heels and walk tall and anyone can be fooled. Fake it to make it, and make it early!

2) Someone’s already doing it better than me.

Course they are! Don’t be naïve and think that you’ll hit the jackpot with an idea that nobody else has had. In most cases, it’s true that all of the original ideas have been had, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t do it in an original way.

Yes, someone might be doing it bigger and for longer than you, but they are not you, they can’t ever be YOU. Your way of doing it will attract the clients and customers that are suited to YOU and no one else. So quit beating yourself up over what someone else is doing and get on with it. If you don’t think what your doing is worthwhile then how are you going to convince a client to book you!

Sorry for the tough love, but I learned this the long and hard way. I’m telling you now that you can do it just as good (if not better) then the rest of them.

3) I’m scared of being different.

This is a big one for me. And it isn’t really how you’d think. I’m not scared of being different in business, or in the way I dress, or in what I do. I’m scared to be different from my family.

Not so much anymore, but I still have a slight fear of growing apart from them. I fear that my personal development, the money I make and the lifestyle I lead will be so different from that of my family that I will inevitably drift away from them. And not just from my family, from my partner. I’m scared to leave him behind. Or for him to feel that we are no longer a fit.

Your family and friends might not understand all of the time but they will try their utmost to support you if they REALLY love you. And if they don’t, then maybe it’s time to move on, make space for the bigger and better things in your life. You’ll be surprised that letting go of even one person who is unhealthy for you will open plenty more doors for beautiful people to enter your life. And along with them, beautiful opportunities.

4) There is too much to do and I cannot see the end of it!

On so many occasions I have looked at the mountain of work ahead of us and thought: How is this even achievable? Honestly, it is ahead in hand moment that ALL business owners have, you’re not alone.

The only way to get past this one is to take a big deep breath. Write out – in order – EVERYTHING you need to do. Sounds a bit scary, like it might push you over the edge… It might. But you need to face up to the sheer amount of things to do. Because once you have, you can start to break it down. Take things to step by step. But most importantly it should give you the kick up the backside that you’ll need to get going!

If any of the above are holding you back, I feel ya girl! But if I can get past these blocks then you certainly can. Being successful comes in many shapes and forms and whichever you have imagined can be yours. And once you’ve achieved that then always look for the next thing, always push yourself, always feel an element of being out of your depth. If you can do that when you’re on the right path and you’ll look back at these above fears and laugh.

What mindsets have you recently shifted and how has doing so help you? Please comment to share and inspire.

Success is yours! Believe it.

Here To Simply Be

Short and sweet today: a ‘download’ I had whilst sat on a train watching the landscape pass by…

You are not here to ‘do’ anything. You are not even here to ‘learn’ anything. Although both of these are part of the process of life.
No, you are here to simply ‘be’.

Each baby, when born, is described as perfect, a gift, a miracle. That baby brings with it into the world so much joy, so much love and so much awe.
It will teach its parents and family so much about themselves, and create change.

I ask you this: what has changed between now and then for you?

It is simply one thing, your relationship with yourself.

Conditioning, experience and beliefs have effected your view of yourself. Instead of unselfconsciously expressing yourself through ‘being’ you now try to express yourself through ‘learning’ or ‘doing’.
You create hoops to jump through, limiting beliefs to work against, reasons and excuses to squash your light, joy and love.

It’s starts as soon as we become conscious. We also become self-conscious.
It might show up in how you feel about your body, maybe in how you handle your career or business and most of all in the way you interact with people, your relationships.

Because you believe, that people believe things about you. You believe that you need to do, say or be something to earn their respect, to manipulate their beliefs of you.
Well you don’t, because firstly, they don’t really care about what you do. And secondly, if you were how you are, people would automatically respect you. Admire you, covet you, adore you!

And then the doing, the learning, the way you go about life is purely about making YOU happy.
How about that for a truthbomb?

Questions? Hit me up in the comments or come and join the conversation. 

Love Fifi
Xoxo

P.S. This message was channeled for, and dedicated to, my dear friend Sophie.

Photo Credit: Robert Couse-Baker

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Lotsa love, Fifi xoxo